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  Jane Miller


Articles -- Being held in a gentle space

Imagine walking into a space where you are held, gently and compassionately - where you are not judged or told what to do, where you may be who you are, honor your deepest values, powerfully address your fears and follow your most inspired dreams.

The Life Coaching process sets up this kind of space for you. The coach “holds the space” and you are in that space “doing the work” of self-discovery, direction setting and planning.

Self Coaching
In this and the next few articles, you will be guided in the process of setting up this kind of space for yourself. It’s not easy to take an objective perspective, and sometimes it’s challenging to look at yourself with compassion. But in order to grow, you must be able to forgive all your weaknesses, comfort your sadness, reassure your fears, and trust in your abilities.

Future articles will cover topics on setting goals, overcoming challenges and creating results. But first you must create a space to do this work.

Time and Location
Start by setting up a regular time and place. Make sure it’s a time you can commit to and a place where you will not be distracted or disturbed. Keep a file where you will record your reflections, action plan and progress.

Assertions and Promises
As you enter this space, you need to make a number of assertions and promises to yourself in order to provide a fertile ground for your personal growth. (Each of these will be covered in detail in the next few articles.)

“I am OK”
I am willing to accept every aspect of myself, knowing that each is adaptive in its own way and needs to be heard, understood and accommodated. Nothing is broken or needs to be ‘fixed’. Everything that I am is adaptive for this moment.

“I will honor my needs”
I can only help others after my own needs are met. And so, in this space, I commit to honoring and taking care of my needs.

“I am the only one who knows my true goals in life”
I am willing to let go of the need to please others or live up to others’ expectations. I am ready to uncover and clarify my own true goals.

“I have all the resources to make my dream happen”
I am ready to discover the great wealth of wisdom and courage that is within me.

“Change is not only possible, but inevitable”
I am ready to take responsibility for my life and move into my next inspired vision.

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