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  Jane Miller


Articles -- Your theme song

We all have a theme song in our life. It is usually based on one or more childhood events, but it doesn't matter where it comes from. What matters is how it affects your life now.

    What is the theme song of your life?

Try noticing your inner thoughts for an entire day and write down some typical refrains. Then ask yourself, what is the overall refrain? (There may be more than one, but try to find the current dominant one)

For me, the thoughts are about achieving excellence in ever-new fields, constantly challenging myself. And as soon as I get good in one field, I look for something new so I can start from scratch and excel in that. My theme song is "I must achieve. I must achieve. I must achieve." I push myself from one success to another without ever stopping to rest.

Now, here's the lesson... Every theme song has a good side and a down side. The good side of my theme song is that it has driven me to experience many exciting and interesting careers and many achievements. The down side is that I never take the time to rest and "smell the roses".

So, when you've figured out your theme song, ask yourself:

    How does this theme song serve me?
    How does it get in my way?

Even if your theme song seems negative - like "I'm not good at anything" - there is a positive intention. Perhaps its purpose is to stop you from attempting anything ambitious in order to protect you from possible failure. The down side may be that it stops you from even trying.

So, the next step is to ask:

    How might I modify my theme song or add a new song to restore balance to my life?

As an exercise, you may want to try writing the opposite statement. So if your theme song is "I'm not good at anything", write "I can do anything if I put my mind to it". Now, allow yourself to feel what that's like, and then imagine what effect that song would have on how you live your life.

Even a seemingly positive theme song like "I must achieve" can be improved by modifying it to something like "Between achievements, I can slow down and enjoy the journey along the way".

Experiment with various versions to find a theme song that is more balanced. For example: "I don't have to be good at everything, but I do have my own special talents and I am committed to discovering and celebrating these!"

A balanced theme song breaks through limitations and allows flexibility. You will know it when you say it because your ideal balanced theme song will make your heart sing!

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