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  Jane Miller
BSc  PhD  ECPC


 
 
 
 

Articles -- Your true goal

Life is a continual process of pursuing one goal after another. You may focus on concrete goals like "I want to change careers", or your goal may be more abstract, like "I want to become more confident". The focus may be in different areas of your life - career, family, friendships.

Funny thing about goals though... the satisfaction you achieve when you reach a goal is either short-lived or falls short of your expectations; and it is very quickly superseded by another goal.

This is because the goal you choose is not your true goal. Your true goal is related to a state of mind or, more accurately, an emotion. You want a good job so that you will feel secure and valued. You want a good relationship so that you will feel loved.

Think about one of your goals and ask yourself, "If I had that fully and completely, exactly as I want it, what would I have then that is even more important at the deepest level?"

If you repeat this question and go deeper into what you really want, it will come down to a desire for something like Peace, Wholeness, Joy, Love. An even more surprising realization is that this state is not dependent on external circumstances. You can simply BE at peace, whole, joyful and loving without anything more than what you have right now.

When you are in your ideal mental and emotional state, there is no inner struggle, no regret about the past and no worry about the future. It is a place where you are living fully in the moment, with trust, peace and joy.

You will still pursue goals, but you will do it from a place of wholeness, peace and joy. Instead of being desperate for the goal, you will simply enjoy every experience and accept every outcome.

Exercise

  1. Ask yourself, "What is my most important goal?"
  2. Then ask, "If I had that fully and completely, exactly as I want it, what would I have then that is even more important at the deepest level?"
  3. Repeat step 2 over and over until you come to your deepest most fundamental goal.
  4. Write that goal down and then sit quietly, slowly feeling your way into that state.
  5. Over the next few days, make a habit of taking a moment now and then to move into that state.
  6. Notice how being in that state changes how you pursue your goals and how you live your life.


 
 
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